A Winner on Borrowed and Blue!

Some months ago, Borrowed and Blue hosted an opportunity to vote for our favorite vendor in our County.  It was a daunting task.  There were so many vendors I knew and loved, how was I going to choose just one out of every category. I wanted to choose them all!

Finally the votes were tallied and the result were in.  When it was announced to me I was voted one of the top officiants in Santa Barbara by my peers, I fell out of my chair! I was overtaken with emotion.  It was electrifying, humbling, a relief, my gratitude soaring along with a giddy feeling of excitement, and most of all, a profound appreciation for my peers and the beautiful work I am called to do.

Recognition like this comes infrequently in life, with so many of us living our daily lives being critical of and hard on ourselves and going about our work to the best of our ability. This award had me stop my critical behavior abruptly. It made me realize the enormous responsibility I have to be true to the gifts I have been given, to honor them and nurture them because these gifts aren’t about me.  They are about you—about the incredibly beautiful truth of who you are and the importance of your union, your marriage, it’s life and contribution on earth.

It staggers me to think of the scope of this work as a minister, officiant, celebrant, conduit and vessel for your love. It’s so much greater than we realize, that when I have moments of seeing it more clearly, the emotions I experience are the same as receiving an award like I was granted. It’s exhilarating and humbling, something I can never take for granted.

A Beautiful Wedding Ceremony at Bacara Resort and Spa

Photography by Anna Costa

Ever since John was fifteen he dreamed of the woman he would love, and dreamt of a wedding that fulfilled everything he saw.  He stayed faithful to that dream. He didn’t date seriously and wasn’t willing to compromise.  His dream lay in waiting until he met Ursula. By then, he was forty.

When they met, they both wanted to go slow, to be sure, and life, being cooperative, gave them the opportunity to do just that. Within a few months of meeting, Ursula’s ache to be with her family, her career not turning up satisfying, she moved from Los Angeles to San Francisco to be with her kin and perhaps find more gainful work. He respected her choice, wanting her to be happy, even if he couldn’t pursue her. Her happiness came before his own. She, letting go of him, stayed true to herself, following what she needed most.

But the Bigger Picture was at work. Soon after her move back to SF, Ursula was offered a career position in LA that she couldn’t resist. She ended up right back in the same building where she and John had met months before. She hadn’t even contacted him yet to let him know she was back in town, when they saw each other in the lobby. Unable to deny the magnetism that had moved them before, their steps drew closer to each other until there was no turning back.

When they discovered they both had immense common ground, cultural oneness, the same interests, love of family and family’s love for them, the same work ethics in the same fields of endeavor, they opened to their love, the tenderness, the sharing, romance, comfort and delight. They awakened each other’s souls and now everything is theirs.

These two are deliciously gorgeous. This is the marriage of the God and Goddess. Witnessing them is like looking at two of the most beautiful creations ever made. And their love is just as luxurious. They live in a dream upon a dream. The night John proposed to her in Paris atop the Eiffel Tower at their finest restaurant, all manner of beauty filled the space and the night skies. Amazingly, they had the entire upper balcony to themselves.  A time that blessed them as softly as cashmere and as shining as diamonds, they never wanted it to end. It felt completely natural to them…they belong in that rarefied realm.

Their wedding was sacred, at times intensely emotional, beautiful. It was fulfilling to know these two loving, lovely, caring, wise and compassionate people were living their dream from childhood.  They came here to fulfill it and the world has more peace in it because they are together. And they have a passion that will last beyond time.

Scott and Nicky's Wedding at the Santa Barbara Courthouse

Photography by Anna Costa

Donna Romani (Donna Romani Events) contacted me asking me if I did same gender ceremonies and before she got my answer, Scott had already contacted me and set up a time for he, Nicky and myself to talk over the phone. I knew the instant I heard Scott’s voice I wanted to work with them. If I passed muster on the phone call, I’d be so blessed.

All manner of energy summoned up when we got on the line together.  These two amazing men exuded sunlight when they spoke. Within seconds, we were deep into who they were for each other, what visions they had for their ceremony, the symbolism that was crucial to them and the feelings they wanted to express and convey. We could feel the electricity between us as we joined our minds and hearts with the significance of their upcoming marriage.

Sold. We were sold. We set it up to meet on the phone for our consultations with them being in the Bay Area, myself here, and found we lacked nothing in the way of “seeing” each other.

Their wedding was a spectacular event. Held at the Mural Room at the Santa Barbara Courthouse, it had the beauty of historical times, the richness of an opulent yet functioning courtroom in true Moorish style, and the light of the sky coming in through the vast windows.

They had a dynamic gospel choir that processed up the aisle singing “I Believe in You and Me”. Behind them entered Scott and Nicky, radiant, joyous, full of expectation.

After welcoming them and their beloved guests, it was time to honor them. Just so you can appreciate them even just a little, I give you this excerpt from their wedding:

“Scott and Nicky, you two are truly, the most magnificent men.  On your own, walking your singular paths, you developed yourselves into fine gentlemen, facing extreme challenges and rising out of the ashes triumphant and alive.  You each have never given up; even in the face of overwhelming odds, you believed in yourselves.

You chose happiness and peace over fear and anger.

You chose commitments over resignation,

Magic and miracles over circumstances,

Life over death and when you met, you found someone else to believe in you as no other.

Your relationship is transcendent.  Not because you are becoming that, but because it is where you have come from. You two cause each other to remember your original grace, your holy, true state. And you bring each other home to your most splendid, true Selves.”

They had their reception at Stella Mare’s in the Greenhouse room. Spectacular, loving, spirited and sacred time.

On their first anniversary, they held a private dinner in Santa Barbara in a home by the sea they rented for the occasion, where they fed all of us vendors who were privileged to serve them and a select few of their friends, a scrumptious home cooked meal, just to savor everything from their wedding all over again. Donna Romani, Coordinator, Nico Cervantes, florist, Anna Costa, photography, and me, minister, basked in the warmth of their love once again.